Underneath the epidermis,
Behind the naïve black depths,
The blood of my body crawls,
Like 10 billion cockroaches,
At the sound of your screams.
The emotions that fire
Back and forth between
My heart and brain- heart and brain-
Are like war heroes
On either side of the line.
They exchange bullets of tears
For bombs of anger
And the shrapnel of frustration
Cuts deep, spilling
Desperate moth-like pleas into the flames.
Blood slinks up to my cheeks
Leaving rational thoughts to rot.
I freeze.
My bugged out system
Is counting down to the explosion.
I reach out,
Half hoping you cut off my hand
Loosing a sea of stingers on you,
But you touch me,
And I know love again.
Wednesday 30 January 2013
Thursday 17 January 2013
Ugh.
You know those times when you're told to jump in and swim 1000 leagues in 85 minutes after you've had a lovely 23k jog? That's what I feel like. I feel like a giant tornado ripped off the roof of my house, ripped me out of my cozy bed and threw me across the milky way and it's televised.
But all this being uncomfortable got me to thinking (and the advice of one of my drama professors): Maybe I got too comfortable doing the same thing for the last little while. Maybe it's time for a change. Maybe I need to start asking the right questions.
Isn't it strange how we gravitate to how hard our day is rather than embracing the challenges? I guess all of that acceptance stuff is difficult when you feel bad. Or stupid. Or under pressure.
But all this being uncomfortable got me to thinking (and the advice of one of my drama professors): Maybe I got too comfortable doing the same thing for the last little while. Maybe it's time for a change. Maybe I need to start asking the right questions.
Isn't it strange how we gravitate to how hard our day is rather than embracing the challenges? I guess all of that acceptance stuff is difficult when you feel bad. Or stupid. Or under pressure.
Saturday 12 January 2013
read the comments ppl!
I came across this article on my Facebook today:
http://everydayfeminism.com/2013/01/i-lost-a-job-for-calling-out-the-companys-rape-apology/
Dan Solomon writes an interesting article. He explains how he was fired for expressing his personal views on his blog. Claire St. Amant, who writes for CultureMap questioned the accountability of a rape victim because she was underage, and sometimes young people lie about what happens in their lives. In her article, she says that a medical exam was done and the girl showed signs of trauma, which indicates rape, but she questions the credibility of the situation. There were two people in the truck, and only those two people know what really happened.
Dan gets upset, responds in his own way, and is told his employers are very unhappy and they cannot work with him anymore. Dan argues that treating the victim like a liar is not acceptable.
BUT!!!!!!
I love reading the comments on blogs and online articles. Most of the time I skim the article and go straight to the comments. The best part about the comments section, is the immediacy that you get from hundreds of people across the globe. I had to trace back to the original article that started this whole thing.
http://dallas.culturemap.com/newsdetail/life-crime-highland-park-baseball-star-charged-with-sexual-assault-rape/
I quickly read the article and went down to the comments section. From Solomon's article, I was expecting a lot of "she's a liar", "i bet she just doesn't want to be called a slut so she made it up", "poor Ryan, he doesn't deserve this", comments that I'm not used to, that I would not be able to understand or agree with readily. The best thing about comments is the fire they ignite when you know you're protected by a screen. What else could be in the comments section that would make me more fired up than I was when I read the article?
Many of the commenters were outraged at the article. Some people referred to Solomon's article about how he was fired. Some people claimed it was a publicity stunt by Amant. All sorts of people were digging into Amant for her horrible journalism in this matter. One comment agreed that there is no way to know exactly what happened in the truck, but that her questioning of the victim's validity was wrong. Another comment was from a prosecutor of sex crimes. They explained that the medical exam for rape does not provide hard evidence against the aggressor. It gives us clues as to what happened, but it is not a "smoking gun".
But then I stumbled upon my gold mine.
Mary 2 months ago
And this:
Stay out harms way 2 months ago
And this:
I. Love. Comments.
There's something in the moment after you read something online, and the power you have behind the computer that creates this need to respond so strongly. It's incredible!
My personal views are more in line with "Mary" in the 3rd section of comments above. I don't believe doubting victims is the best way to encourage fairness in sexual assault cases, even if they aren't being honest. I was appalled by what I read on Solomon's article, but what made me want to go to the original article was "why". Why does Amant feel the way she does? Why are people supporting her statements? Maybe they feels sorry for this young man, who could have had a fantastic future, but now, being accused of rape, will struggle against it forever. Maybe they knows people who claimed to be victims, but weren't in the end. Maybe they knows someone who is in jail for something they did not do.
In the end, I wound up thinking about how much I love the comments section. Where else can you find such open dialogue? You can't exactly go into a coffee shop and start screaming at an article in a newspaper for being such horrible news. Sometimes I feel like the comments section shows me a bit of that person. In a moment, they are provoked to speak without having to adhere to decorum. They can curse, they can be rude, they can let free their assumptions without being reprimanded.
Have I mentioned how much I like reading the comments?
http://everydayfeminism.com/2013/01/i-lost-a-job-for-calling-out-the-companys-rape-apology/
Dan Solomon writes an interesting article. He explains how he was fired for expressing his personal views on his blog. Claire St. Amant, who writes for CultureMap questioned the accountability of a rape victim because she was underage, and sometimes young people lie about what happens in their lives. In her article, she says that a medical exam was done and the girl showed signs of trauma, which indicates rape, but she questions the credibility of the situation. There were two people in the truck, and only those two people know what really happened.
Dan gets upset, responds in his own way, and is told his employers are very unhappy and they cannot work with him anymore. Dan argues that treating the victim like a liar is not acceptable.
BUT!!!!!!
I love reading the comments on blogs and online articles. Most of the time I skim the article and go straight to the comments. The best part about the comments section, is the immediacy that you get from hundreds of people across the globe. I had to trace back to the original article that started this whole thing.
http://dallas.culturemap.com/newsdetail/life-crime-highland-park-baseball-star-charged-with-sexual-assault-rape/
I quickly read the article and went down to the comments section. From Solomon's article, I was expecting a lot of "she's a liar", "i bet she just doesn't want to be called a slut so she made it up", "poor Ryan, he doesn't deserve this", comments that I'm not used to, that I would not be able to understand or agree with readily. The best thing about comments is the fire they ignite when you know you're protected by a screen. What else could be in the comments section that would make me more fired up than I was when I read the article?
Many of the commenters were outraged at the article. Some people referred to Solomon's article about how he was fired. Some people claimed it was a publicity stunt by Amant. All sorts of people were digging into Amant for her horrible journalism in this matter. One comment agreed that there is no way to know exactly what happened in the truck, but that her questioning of the victim's validity was wrong. Another comment was from a prosecutor of sex crimes. They explained that the medical exam for rape does not provide hard evidence against the aggressor. It gives us clues as to what happened, but it is not a "smoking gun".
But then I stumbled upon my gold mine.
Mary 2 months ago
And this:
And this:
I. Love. Comments.
There's something in the moment after you read something online, and the power you have behind the computer that creates this need to respond so strongly. It's incredible!
My personal views are more in line with "Mary" in the 3rd section of comments above. I don't believe doubting victims is the best way to encourage fairness in sexual assault cases, even if they aren't being honest. I was appalled by what I read on Solomon's article, but what made me want to go to the original article was "why". Why does Amant feel the way she does? Why are people supporting her statements? Maybe they feels sorry for this young man, who could have had a fantastic future, but now, being accused of rape, will struggle against it forever. Maybe they knows people who claimed to be victims, but weren't in the end. Maybe they knows someone who is in jail for something they did not do.
In the end, I wound up thinking about how much I love the comments section. Where else can you find such open dialogue? You can't exactly go into a coffee shop and start screaming at an article in a newspaper for being such horrible news. Sometimes I feel like the comments section shows me a bit of that person. In a moment, they are provoked to speak without having to adhere to decorum. They can curse, they can be rude, they can let free their assumptions without being reprimanded.
Have I mentioned how much I like reading the comments?
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