Nice Guy Pick-up = Questionable Nice-ness

When I first watched Simple Pickup, I was completely grossed out by the How to Get Laid By Setting Up Your Room video. (Look it up on YouTube).

One keeps a bottle of alcohol around, just in case the girl he's with isn't relaxed and he wants to get her to open up. Literally.
One keeps a head massager around, to make her feel good.
One makes sure the one chair in his room has random things on it so that the girl he's with has nowhere to sit but his bed.

Some of these suggestions are slightly appalling to me. Or were at first.
But at the same time, these guys are offering tips. I'm sure that these suggestions work on plenty of girls; girls who may come from loving families, are good students or employees, girls who work hard at what they do and want to spend some alone time with a guy that they like.
However, I've been noticing that these "guys" label their videos targeting "girls". Not women. Not ladies. Girls. These videos seem like your average college I-need-to-get-laid-fast-how-do-you-do-it type videos. Although I'm put off by the manipulation that goes in to making your room ready for play-time, it kind of makes sense. We all have needs, and these guys are sharing some times that will hopefully help their viewers achieve that special moment of bliss.

HOWEVER!!! I am terribly disturbed by "God Mode". They describe God mode as the moment where everything is going right, you click with this girl and she's picking up on your vibes; she seems really interested in you.
I'm not religious, but there has to be a better way to explain this rather than including God. Sorry, guys, but you're not all-knowing, all-powerful, and you can't make a cyclone. I'm sure those are all requirements for God.

And what was that about "bitch butterflies"? I hope you're not referring to what I think you are. Oh phew! They're only talking about men being "little bitches" if they don't approach someone they think is attractive. Way to go guys! Way to think positive. P.S. Please don't ever link being weak to the feminine. It makes you look uneducated.

Hmm. On second thought, these are probably the guys I would avoid. Maybe it's just my super-high expectations. But is it really so unreasonable to expect someone who is willing to just be themselves around you? Someone who doesn't make the rounds by throwing himself at every girl at the bar or club, but goes for the person they are the most interested in, even if it doesn't work out? I will admire someone more for their natural vibe than their showmanship or tricks.

True, you cannot prescribe any advice that will be true for all groups of people. I just prefer my men to be natural. I can tell if you're interested. You don't need to make it obvious by suggesting a massage on your bed. Treat me as an equal and then we can really talk. Otherwise, have fun with your lotion.

I AM *mumblemumblemumble*

I made a recent acquaintance today that made me question why we stand up for things.

This person was an activist. I have heard they are socially and politically aware, which was also demonstrated by the red square being pinned to their shirt in addition to a rainbow Islamic symbol. However, we began to ponder how we would act if one of our elders had slandered another culture by calling them a derogatory title.

I know I have a very privileged upbringing. I have a blog where I can declare my thoughts as a woman; I consider that to be quite privileged considering other places in the world where women don't have access to books let alone the internet. I believe it is my duty as a citizen of this Earth to help correct the wrong-doings. Socially, politically, and environmentally. I believe we all need to do what we can to protect and preserve our way of life and the lives of all other living things surrounding us. To do this, there must be a level of respect. Old dogs can learn new tricks, they just need time.

Maybe I'm being too optimistic, but I've noticed a change in my father, and I think it is my liberal beliefs that are slowly changing him. He may not agree with what I have to say, but he respects me enough to limit any offensive comments that were considered acceptable or cool back in the day. I do not hesitate to ask people to keep their slanderous comments to themselves, even if I know they will continue to use that same language. It is important to me to respect others with whom I share this planet with. It starts with the everyday language we use.

The acquaintance I met today said they would never speak up because, in their culture, it is not appropriate to do so, and you would risk losing face within your community. I understand this, but being a part of a social activist group and then taking no risks for your beliefs at home is almost traitorous to me.

I love my family, and I should like to think they love me to. Part of loving someone is respecting who they are, which includes their beliefs. If you are someone who can walk around in public with a rainbow Islam symbol on your t-shirt, but can't admit to your family that calling someone an offensive name makes you uncomfortable, why are you an activist? Your family is the toughest group of people to face up to; if you can face your family, and gain their support human being to human being, you've got nothing to lose.

If any of my family members asks me if I'm a feminist, I gladly say that I am. I let them have their assumptions and their sly comments because I am comfortable knowing that I am not a bra-burner; I do not believe in females being superior to males; I do not believe in gender inequality. I am who I am. Being a feminist is one part of me. They need to accept that, because I have.