GREAT Expectations

"Sweep my off my feet!" says she,

"I dream of racing moonbeams,
of sailing along a silent sea,
of drinking from coconuts b'neath a palm tree;
with you, and only you,
holding my hand,
stroking my hair,
taking in the tropical air.

"I see us running
laughing,
playing,
making sweeter love than birds and bees;
I see us getting lost in cobbled streets
of our love in Paris.

"Why do you not reach beyond the stars,
Past the present to never ending bliss?
Why can't you care for me
more than a dove cares for its mate?
Why aren't you more passionate
than a wolf as he romances the moon?
O, why don't you love me
like Romeo loved Juliet?"

"I'm sorry, " says he,
his eyes sparkling in emerald green
"But I think your patriarchal notions of what should be
are ridiculously obscene."

Poor Me

Feel sorry for us Albertans.

While we’re dealing with piles of snow

Complaining about how it just won’t go,

You sit there with sandals on your feet

Begging for change on the side of the road.

And while we battle the cold and the sleet,

Freezing off our baby toes,

You beat the heat

Barbequing scraps of meat

In a cardboard house.

“Poor me!” We cry

Towards the sky

As fluffy stuff flies by

Not thinking of you,

Who can’t choose

Between red or blue shoes,

And can’t get in to see an MD

For an useless knee

Infected with gangrene.

Because brushing off our cars is so hard.

For Coy

I'm fuming,
like a volcano, stewing;
these stories stir the pot
and the hot broth splashes
on to our mouldy kitchen floor.

Why can't you let us be us
And collectively
we can come to understand
it's not 'her' and 'he'
it's 'us' and 'me'.

A fluffy skirt doesn't mark a fairy,
Or a fruit,
Or a fag.
It marks an individual
so original
I hope they scare you right out of your pants.

And into a dress.

Happy International Women's Day!!!!

Welcome to International Women's Day!

Here's a recent conversation I had with a very good friend of mine

A: Oh! Today is International Women's Day!
M: Oh cool. When is International Men's Day?
A: It's been International Men's Day for the past... I don't know how many years. Let us have our one freakin' day!

True, it seems a little strange to be celebrating International Women's Day when we don't have an International Men's Day. It makes me think that there really is no push for equality. Why don't we have an International Men's Day following IWD? Besides, I have a hard time believing that the countries, the people that should be celebrating IWD actually do. I doubt that women who are oppressed have a completed day of freedom today and will go back to their regular lives tomorrow. Maybe they do. But what is the goal of today? Is it to celebrate being a women here and all over the world? Is it to educate ourselves and other women of all races, ages, and religions about the hardships that are endured? Is it to look to the future and hope that the suffragettes haven't sacrificed in vain?

To me, today is a day to be thankful for what I have because of what women before me have gained and taught me. I have the right to get on a plane and go to a different country unescorted. I have the right to wear  shorts and not be penalized for it. I have the right to paint my fingernails. I have the right to talk to men in public, un-chaperoned. I have been taught to stand up for myself and what I believe in. I have been taught that I am a strong and independent person. I have been taught to love and care for people, not matter what their gender or sexual preference is. I have been taught that everyone has a value, and it is a shame to diminish that value.

In lieu of all of this...

Thanks Mom!

Freud's Guide to Being a Good Mother Part 1

Welcome to Freud's Guide to Being a Good Mother (Edition 1)!

Before becoming a successful mother to needy, somewhat psychotic children who will never let you go or let you have a moment of peace, you must become a good housewife. Here are some simple steps to get you on your way to being a bored-out-of-her-mind housewife:

1. Do not attempt to achieve a high level of education. This hampers acquiring a husband. Men do not like intelligent women as it castrates them, makes them feel emasculated. Your husband will be able to provide for you financially, emotionally, sexually, psychologically, etcetera; so why carry on with difficult subjects like politics, social sciences, humanities, arts, math, science, when you can educate yourself through your marriage in cooking, cleaning, sewing, community, and child psychology! Forget the world outside your front door! It's far too complicated and aggressive for the meek and mild demeanour of women. If you must carry on through high school or even university or college, God forbid, focus on attracting men with your sense of fashion, your put-togetherness, and your charming femininity.

2. Do not attempt to find or keep a job. Once again, you'll find your husband will be much more appreciative and loving if you abandon any thought of working. Think of it as an early retirement. You've worked hard to get your man, and now that you have you can relax knowing all you have to do is keep your home neat and tidy. If you are looking for a social experience without the pressures of earning money (what a ghastly thought! A woman hoping to earn something for her work besides admiration and love of her husband), look into volunteering with the rest of the community housewives. Perhaps you can help run a cake walk, a bake sale, a community mixer. The possibilities are endless!
NOTE: If you must work, only apply to jobs that suit your femininity and are part-time. A husband does not want a wife that enjoys her job or desires to achieve a higher status in her working environment. Remember: a husband wants a wife that does everything she can to support his masculinity, not dampen it!

3. Find the joy in cleaning and cooking for your husband. This simple act of charity says nothing more than your eternal pledge of love to your husband. Why, darning his socks and ironing his pants means, "I wish you all the best in life, my dearest!" Everything you do is for him, for your marriage, for your future.

4. Don't forget your God! He's a man too, you know! You should always strive to include your love of God in all his glory in your daily life. Perhaps when you're washing dishes, give thanks to your running water, your dishes and your soap.

With these simple steps, your life will become chocablock full of devotion to the men in your life: your God, your husband, and, of course, Sigmund Freud. Remember, you, as a female, do not have the capability to understand and act in the world outside the home as men do. It is in your best interest as a future wife and mother to remain in the home, study up on latest fashion trends, the best pie crusts, and always have his slippers ready when he gets home.

Happy housewife-ing!

Wedding bells are ringing

"Early student marriage is domesticating boys so early they don't have a chance for full intellectual development." (Betty Friedan, Feminine Mystique, pg 181)

While reading The Feminine Mystique, I found the sentence quoted above.
I feel that many people are fearful or somewhat hateful of feminists because of what stereotypically comes with the label. But seeing this quote made me feel hopeful; maybe people will see that feminism has evolved to be inclusive of equality between the genders.

This quote comes from the section of Friedan's book that discusses the impact ambition and education had on young women in the 50s. She explores the idea that women in the 50s stifled their academic futures because they believed that A) men would not like women who wanted a career or would not like to stay at home all day, B) they were afraid of having an uncertain future (unlike forming a stable home), or C) all of the men would be married by the time women had found careers. But Friedan struck me with a lighting bolt when she mentioned that men also felt the same early marriage anxiety. Men also desired a stable home life, especially after World War II, but were also being held back by early marriage.

For me, this recognition of the men's futures suffering due to student marriages is going above and beyond the initial cause of feminism. Not many people think or know of this, but Feminism originated because women desired to be a part of a larger world outside the home; they wanted to speak in public, go to school, begin careers of their own, make a difference in the world. The reason why it's called "feminism" was because women wanted the same rights men had; it was about bringing women's rights up to the same level as men's rights.
Friedan's comment about men's ambition also being hampered by early marriage, similar to women, made me realize that equality is really at the root of feminism; and even more so today! Women around the world do not experience the same level of rights as men, so I believe there is still a need for feminism. Feminism is not about breaking men down to experience the previous oppression of women in years gone-by; feminism is about gender equality. Feminism is about women making decisions, having ambitious goals, and achieving as much as men do. The promotion of women's achievements should continue to happen, but only to show the growth of equality between men and women.

Have you seen this???

Suu Kyi "I will try my best for you"

Take a gander at this lovely lady you see in the photo above. No, she's not an ex-beauty pagent queen. Nor is she the wife of a prominent Asian leader. She is Aung San Suu Kyi, world leader in democracy and advocate for Burmese migrants. She won the 1991 Nobel Peace Prize, among others, for human rights and used her winnings to establish a trust fund for the Burmese people.

She was privileged in that she was able to attend British and American universities - lots of girls today don't get a chance to finish highschool, let alone go on to study in a local post-secondary institution (if there is one). But Suu Kyi did not take her education lightly, she used it and her power as a human being to fight for the Burmese people. How many people do you know who would walk towards a squad of guards pointing rifles at them? Begin a hunger strike to ensure the safety of students and advocates of democracy? Not see their husband, dying of prostate cancer, because they would never be allowed back into their home country, never be allowed back to fight for their people?

To me, this woman is a pillar of strength that we can all admire and aspire to be like. To me, this woman shows us that Feminism is not dead; women working to achieve rights for their people (men and women) is still happening, and must continue to happen. So, my dear "Anti-Feminists", take a good look at this woman and think of the years and years where women were not allowed to speak publicly or to go to school or to enter politics. Think about these things and then ask yourself if the world really would be a better place without Feminism.

Zoya's Story

One thing that's on my "Bucket List" is to help (in some fashion) girls in oppressive situations get education; help build a school or help fund educational initiatives.

The story that inspired me to put this on my list is called Zoya's Story. Published in 2002, Zoya shows readers a young-Afghani woman's struggles to grow up and be educated in a tumultuous area. Although it's not written with the prowess of Chaucer, it's more than an easy read. Women who lead privileged lives, such as myself, don't see beyond their own progressive borders. By reading Zoya's story, my attention drew beyond North America, and my interest in promoting equality grew. Zoya has been through more than a teenage boy has experienced playing Call of Duty. This book is a must read! Although, I have to admit, it give a sense of "we're right and you're wrong" to first-world people, but it shouldn't be the norm for women to have to sneak reading and writing materials into homes. There shouldn't be guards with guns outside schools to protect the women and children from being shot at. Women, as human beings, have a right to education. My idealist hope is that one day we will all have an opportunity for equal education. Whether this will happen in my lifetime, at all, is, sadly, unknown.

G is for Gender?

When I think of men vs. women, I always wonder how this division came about and what it really means.

Gender is a construction in an attempt to create order and define different groups of human beings. But how can we possibly define genders with the amount of gender bending going on? What springs to my mind is "transgender". How can you possibly attempt to define someone who has made the transition from one gender to another? How can you define what gender someone is when they feel they don't fit into a category? What if you identify with both? Can you imagine not fitting in because you don't feel your physical attributes contribute to the definition of who you are?

Gender only serves to pit humans against other humans due to their differences. Gender attempts to dictate how you dress, how you rebel, your acceptable careers, your movements, your gestures, your eating habits... You name it. In order to achieve equality, gender will need to disappear. But this means that all sorts of words will also need to disappear. Man, woman, he, she, mother, father, aunt, uncle, daughter, son, grandmother, grandfather, girl, boy, niece, nephew, husband, wife. (You get the idea.)

But how would our societies be able to function without these words that we've been using for so long? Judith Butler says that these gendered words includes all sorts of societal influences which oppress said genders. I agree, but I always come back to the question, How? How would you control the words that come out of 7 billion mouths?

The only thing that we can do in order to amend this "gender mystique" is to include more gendered terms. We need to apply new terms to people who can't be defined by the tradition man/woman terms. Perhaps the road we need to take is not one of extermination of gender terms, but inclusivity.

First Post!

Welcome to Chowin Down!

After multiple comments and postings on YouTube videos, I decided I should start a blog so that I can share my opinions without annoying video posters with too many responses to other comments. Here we go!


In Which I Confront My Own Beliefs Concerning Feminism


I watch my fair share of YouTube videos, but one video caught my eye. It was a woman who claimed to be an "anti-Feminist". This confused me. How can a woman with a YouTube channel, who shares her thoughts, talents, and beliefs and values be against Femenism? I desperately wanted to write back to this woman, and this made me consider my own definition about Feminism. What is Feminism?

My first thought was that I can't narrow down my personal definition and include others'; it would have to be tailored to my beliefs (as all 'isms are). I know I don't believe that women or men are more valuable than the other. I believe that men and women complement each other in terms of physical functions (men generally being predisposed to more muscles, and women being predisposed to deliver babies). However, these attributes (and others) that make our genders - and any new cross or mixed gender - do not achieve higher status than others. It was this strong belief that led me to my current understanding of what Feminism is to me: my Feminism is solely about equality.

I am reading The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan, and my eye was caught by one of the most obvious statements: early feminists of the 1920s were looking up to men as role models when they were beginning their fight for women's rights. These women would look at the outside world that men were involved in and say, "I want to be a part of that" NOT "I want that to be MY world, run by MY rules". Early feminists called attention to the fact that women think just as much as men do about the world. When the War was happening, women were employed in factories, doing what was usually considered "men's work". They were employed with the army as nurses and aides. I've heard about one woman who dressed as a man and drove a delivery truck during the war. Women were not concerned with "stealing" men's jobs, they were concerned with the War effort. I can definitely believe the first taste of contributing to society would be addicting.
These early feminists are my role models. They were fighting for rights to speak in public, the right to education, the right to work. They were not fighting against men, just for the barriers that prevented them from sharing their views as human beings. I strongly believe that our connection as human beings comes before gender. I believe that the goal of Feminism is to make itself obsolete. When Feminism no longer exists, when women no longer feel the need to fight for equality, that is when we will have all recognized our human-ness.

When I look back on the video this woman posted, and the comments that offended me as a woman and a feminist, I have to pause and give silent congratulations to these early freedom fighters. This woman would not be on YouTube, speaking to a large public, sharing her personal views, if not for women like Lucy Stone, Sojourner Truth, and Louisa May Alcott. Although she may not know it, this woman is building on the foundation of these pioneer Feminists. She is advocating for her right to speak as a woman, to women.

My Feminist beliefs do not seek to alienate or target men as bad people. I value men as a counter-part to our society and respect those who contribute to keeping the core values of Feminism alive. In fact, I respect anyone, of any sex, who stands up for Feminist beliefs.

To those who seriously oppose Feminism, I suggest you do your research into its history, founders, struggles, and the key values it supports. Equality is the love boat we can all get on; no matter our "ism".