Being grateful

Something happened.
I'm missing the fire;
That piece that plays Town Crier
When you get in my face
Or out of place
Or annoy me to the point where I want to throw my shoes at you.

I'm fuzzy
And buzzy
And can't remember why I'm so angry.
Because all I can think about
Is when you let me spout
My problems like a 12 year old to her mother, too polite to say no.

Your kindness is overwhelming.
And it makes me horribly, sickeningly, unbelievably...


Grateful.

Poor Me

Feel sorry for us Albertans.

While we’re dealing with piles of snow

Complaining about how it just won’t go,

You sit there with sandals on your feet

Begging for change on the side of the road.

And while we battle the cold and the sleet,

Freezing off our baby toes,

You beat the heat

Barbequing scraps of meat

In a cardboard house.

“Poor me!” We cry

Towards the sky

As fluffy stuff flies by

Not thinking of you,

Who can’t choose

Between red or blue shoes,

And can’t get in to see an MD

For an useless knee

Infected with gangrene.

Because brushing off our cars is so hard.

Lorax

Congratulations on your latest Destruction!
Welcome to the new ELW:
Extremely Ludicrous Waste

Staples

Pens.
Paper.
Binders.
Office lamps.
Labellers.
Calculators.
Daytimers.
Highlighters.
Elastic bands.
Post-it notes.
Tape.
Glue.
Scissors.
Colouring pencils.
More pens.
Whiteboards.
Corkboards.
Staplers.
Printers.
Scanners.
Shredders.
Laptops.
Tablets.
Furniture.
Storage bins.
Even more pens!

Staples, you are a magical place.
But I don't like the patronizing jerk that works for you.
I hope we can still be friends.

In honour of Angry Arts Week 2013.

For Coy

I'm fuming,
like a volcano, stewing;
these stories stir the pot
and the hot broth splashes
on to our mouldy kitchen floor.

Why can't you let us be us
And collectively
we can come to understand
it's not 'her' and 'he'
it's 'us' and 'me'.

A fluffy skirt doesn't mark a fairy,
Or a fruit,
Or a fag.
It marks an individual
so original
I hope they scare you right out of your pants.

And into a dress.