GREAT Expectations

"Sweep my off my feet!" says she,

"I dream of racing moonbeams,
of sailing along a silent sea,
of drinking from coconuts b'neath a palm tree;
with you, and only you,
holding my hand,
stroking my hair,
taking in the tropical air.

"I see us running
laughing,
playing,
making sweeter love than birds and bees;
I see us getting lost in cobbled streets
of our love in Paris.

"Why do you not reach beyond the stars,
Past the present to never ending bliss?
Why can't you care for me
more than a dove cares for its mate?
Why aren't you more passionate
than a wolf as he romances the moon?
O, why don't you love me
like Romeo loved Juliet?"

"I'm sorry, " says he,
his eyes sparkling in emerald green
"But I think your patriarchal notions of what should be
are ridiculously obscene."

For Coy

I'm fuming,
like a volcano, stewing;
these stories stir the pot
and the hot broth splashes
on to our mouldy kitchen floor.

Why can't you let us be us
And collectively
we can come to understand
it's not 'her' and 'he'
it's 'us' and 'me'.

A fluffy skirt doesn't mark a fairy,
Or a fruit,
Or a fag.
It marks an individual
so original
I hope they scare you right out of your pants.

And into a dress.

Happy International Women's Day!!!!

Welcome to International Women's Day!

Here's a recent conversation I had with a very good friend of mine

A: Oh! Today is International Women's Day!
M: Oh cool. When is International Men's Day?
A: It's been International Men's Day for the past... I don't know how many years. Let us have our one freakin' day!

True, it seems a little strange to be celebrating International Women's Day when we don't have an International Men's Day. It makes me think that there really is no push for equality. Why don't we have an International Men's Day following IWD? Besides, I have a hard time believing that the countries, the people that should be celebrating IWD actually do. I doubt that women who are oppressed have a completed day of freedom today and will go back to their regular lives tomorrow. Maybe they do. But what is the goal of today? Is it to celebrate being a women here and all over the world? Is it to educate ourselves and other women of all races, ages, and religions about the hardships that are endured? Is it to look to the future and hope that the suffragettes haven't sacrificed in vain?

To me, today is a day to be thankful for what I have because of what women before me have gained and taught me. I have the right to get on a plane and go to a different country unescorted. I have the right to wear  shorts and not be penalized for it. I have the right to paint my fingernails. I have the right to talk to men in public, un-chaperoned. I have been taught to stand up for myself and what I believe in. I have been taught that I am a strong and independent person. I have been taught to love and care for people, not matter what their gender or sexual preference is. I have been taught that everyone has a value, and it is a shame to diminish that value.

In lieu of all of this...

Thanks Mom!

I AM *mumblemumblemumble*

I made a recent acquaintance today that made me question why we stand up for things.

This person was an activist. I have heard they are socially and politically aware, which was also demonstrated by the red square being pinned to their shirt in addition to a rainbow Islamic symbol. However, we began to ponder how we would act if one of our elders had slandered another culture by calling them a derogatory title.

I know I have a very privileged upbringing. I have a blog where I can declare my thoughts as a woman; I consider that to be quite privileged considering other places in the world where women don't have access to books let alone the internet. I believe it is my duty as a citizen of this Earth to help correct the wrong-doings. Socially, politically, and environmentally. I believe we all need to do what we can to protect and preserve our way of life and the lives of all other living things surrounding us. To do this, there must be a level of respect. Old dogs can learn new tricks, they just need time.

Maybe I'm being too optimistic, but I've noticed a change in my father, and I think it is my liberal beliefs that are slowly changing him. He may not agree with what I have to say, but he respects me enough to limit any offensive comments that were considered acceptable or cool back in the day. I do not hesitate to ask people to keep their slanderous comments to themselves, even if I know they will continue to use that same language. It is important to me to respect others with whom I share this planet with. It starts with the everyday language we use.

The acquaintance I met today said they would never speak up because, in their culture, it is not appropriate to do so, and you would risk losing face within your community. I understand this, but being a part of a social activist group and then taking no risks for your beliefs at home is almost traitorous to me.

I love my family, and I should like to think they love me to. Part of loving someone is respecting who they are, which includes their beliefs. If you are someone who can walk around in public with a rainbow Islam symbol on your t-shirt, but can't admit to your family that calling someone an offensive name makes you uncomfortable, why are you an activist? Your family is the toughest group of people to face up to; if you can face your family, and gain their support human being to human being, you've got nothing to lose.

If any of my family members asks me if I'm a feminist, I gladly say that I am. I let them have their assumptions and their sly comments because I am comfortable knowing that I am not a bra-burner; I do not believe in females being superior to males; I do not believe in gender inequality. I am who I am. Being a feminist is one part of me. They need to accept that, because I have.

N is for Leader

Graphic language warning!!!
"I am your leader, yes, I am your leader. If you're no believer, suck a big dick."
I'd like to say the only music I like is neurologically stimulating; that I only listen to symphonies and Indie bands. Unfortunately I'm hooked on lyrics like the ones above or "Star ships are meant to fly, hands up and touch the sky" and "Yo what I gotta do to show these bitches that I own 'em".
Yes, I am a Nicki Minaj fan. But the song that I've been thinking about lately is I Am Your Leader.
The lyrics featured above got me to thinking today. As a female rapper, Nicki, and others before and after her, has had a rough time throught her musical career. In one YouTube video I watched she explains the difference between a powerful man and a powerful woman in the biz. The man is "bossed up", while the woman is a bitch. Hardly fair when both genders are doing the same amount of work and wielding the same amount of power.
Nicki and the characters she creates push boundaries. The song I am your leader features her in a dollhouse-like setting in various costumes and wigs. It's like a cartoon in watermelon colours. But what I really love about this song is the message, which I interpret to be "I am a leader in women's careers, including but not limited to male dominated careers; if you don't like it, assume your previous occupation and pay homage to the penis, because I will not concern myself with you".
Cheers Nicki. If only I could say that to people without them being completely offended.

Man-KIND

Since I've been paying more attention to gender and feminist topics, I've come across many negative comments coming from and aiming at Feminists. It's either, "men have dominated women even before civilization began, and it's time for women to take back the power; to have power OVER men", or, "Feminists are angry; all they want is to kill off all the men; they say they want equality, but all they really want  is to punish men".

Take it from this Feminist: True feminist values lie in equality.

I'm always shocked when I hear people have no idea where feminism came from. It came from a time when women were not allowed to have a public life; they couldn't work, they couldn't speak in public, they couldn't lead, they couldn't vote - heck! They couldn't wear pants! Feminism came from the desire for women to be equal to men, never more than that.
No matter what people say, women today are not equal to men. There are women around the world who are beaten, raped, and subjected to a plethora of demeaning acts. Women in some countries still do not have the same rights as men. I am appalled when I hear that some women are not allowed to learn their alphabet.

However, I have also noticed this: very few feminists speak about men. Men are held to similar high standards that women are. They have been taught not to show emotion, that being a homosexual is a crime or disgusting (where women are encouraged because it's "hot"), and they are expected to be the head of the household. Men are judged just as harshly as women are, though probably not in the same ways.
I don't pity one gender over the other; I pity both. How have we come to such an extraordinary state where we expect so many broad character traits from so many individual people, with different ways and walks of life? What is missing?

Kindness.

BRAVE review

My very good friend and I went to see a movie called Brave. It's about a Scottish princess who desires to be her own person, not conforming to traditional princess standards. She rides her horse, explores the nearby forest, climbs great pillars of rocks, and practices archery.

It is an incredibly heart-warming movie with a fantastic message for adults and children alike. Here's what I think:

The main character, Merida, displays courage, curiosity, compassion, fire, and many other admirable qualities. She has heart and gumption, but she also has the impulsivity and the emotional swings of a child. This film captures the coming-of-age of Merida; although the movie only covers two days she gains so much maturity! Merida was one of the best female protagonists I've seen in a long time. *TINY SPOILER ALERT* The most striking comment from her early on in the movie is "I'm not ready", referring to her impending marriage to one of the men from the neighboring clans. It is so great to hear a young girl say she's not ready to get married. I see married couples getting younger and younger, I hear that they have never lived together, never spent quality time together as a couple, don't have the financial means to support themselves (let alone pay for the expenses of their wedding by themselves), and are don't understand what it means to be completely committed to someone (especially when you really, really can't stand what they do sometimes). Merida shows us that it's okay to want to live out our youth, it's okay to not want marriage; it doesn't make us bad people, it just means that we're mature enough to give up a part of ourselves to be with someone else.


This movie shows a young girl voicing her concerns, and her parents struggling with accepting their daughter as the stubborn youth she is. This movie is humorous, thoughtful, and great fun. Any one will be able to connect with this film. Yes she wears a dress, but she rocks it!


Five gigantic stars for this movie! Pixar-Disney did a fantastic job in bringing princess stories into the future. Next up, a homosexual prince?

Freud's Guide to Being a Good Mother Part 1

Welcome to Freud's Guide to Being a Good Mother (Edition 1)!

Before becoming a successful mother to needy, somewhat psychotic children who will never let you go or let you have a moment of peace, you must become a good housewife. Here are some simple steps to get you on your way to being a bored-out-of-her-mind housewife:

1. Do not attempt to achieve a high level of education. This hampers acquiring a husband. Men do not like intelligent women as it castrates them, makes them feel emasculated. Your husband will be able to provide for you financially, emotionally, sexually, psychologically, etcetera; so why carry on with difficult subjects like politics, social sciences, humanities, arts, math, science, when you can educate yourself through your marriage in cooking, cleaning, sewing, community, and child psychology! Forget the world outside your front door! It's far too complicated and aggressive for the meek and mild demeanour of women. If you must carry on through high school or even university or college, God forbid, focus on attracting men with your sense of fashion, your put-togetherness, and your charming femininity.

2. Do not attempt to find or keep a job. Once again, you'll find your husband will be much more appreciative and loving if you abandon any thought of working. Think of it as an early retirement. You've worked hard to get your man, and now that you have you can relax knowing all you have to do is keep your home neat and tidy. If you are looking for a social experience without the pressures of earning money (what a ghastly thought! A woman hoping to earn something for her work besides admiration and love of her husband), look into volunteering with the rest of the community housewives. Perhaps you can help run a cake walk, a bake sale, a community mixer. The possibilities are endless!
NOTE: If you must work, only apply to jobs that suit your femininity and are part-time. A husband does not want a wife that enjoys her job or desires to achieve a higher status in her working environment. Remember: a husband wants a wife that does everything she can to support his masculinity, not dampen it!

3. Find the joy in cleaning and cooking for your husband. This simple act of charity says nothing more than your eternal pledge of love to your husband. Why, darning his socks and ironing his pants means, "I wish you all the best in life, my dearest!" Everything you do is for him, for your marriage, for your future.

4. Don't forget your God! He's a man too, you know! You should always strive to include your love of God in all his glory in your daily life. Perhaps when you're washing dishes, give thanks to your running water, your dishes and your soap.

With these simple steps, your life will become chocablock full of devotion to the men in your life: your God, your husband, and, of course, Sigmund Freud. Remember, you, as a female, do not have the capability to understand and act in the world outside the home as men do. It is in your best interest as a future wife and mother to remain in the home, study up on latest fashion trends, the best pie crusts, and always have his slippers ready when he gets home.

Happy housewife-ing!

Wedding bells are ringing

"Early student marriage is domesticating boys so early they don't have a chance for full intellectual development." (Betty Friedan, Feminine Mystique, pg 181)

While reading The Feminine Mystique, I found the sentence quoted above.
I feel that many people are fearful or somewhat hateful of feminists because of what stereotypically comes with the label. But seeing this quote made me feel hopeful; maybe people will see that feminism has evolved to be inclusive of equality between the genders.

This quote comes from the section of Friedan's book that discusses the impact ambition and education had on young women in the 50s. She explores the idea that women in the 50s stifled their academic futures because they believed that A) men would not like women who wanted a career or would not like to stay at home all day, B) they were afraid of having an uncertain future (unlike forming a stable home), or C) all of the men would be married by the time women had found careers. But Friedan struck me with a lighting bolt when she mentioned that men also felt the same early marriage anxiety. Men also desired a stable home life, especially after World War II, but were also being held back by early marriage.

For me, this recognition of the men's futures suffering due to student marriages is going above and beyond the initial cause of feminism. Not many people think or know of this, but Feminism originated because women desired to be a part of a larger world outside the home; they wanted to speak in public, go to school, begin careers of their own, make a difference in the world. The reason why it's called "feminism" was because women wanted the same rights men had; it was about bringing women's rights up to the same level as men's rights.
Friedan's comment about men's ambition also being hampered by early marriage, similar to women, made me realize that equality is really at the root of feminism; and even more so today! Women around the world do not experience the same level of rights as men, so I believe there is still a need for feminism. Feminism is not about breaking men down to experience the previous oppression of women in years gone-by; feminism is about gender equality. Feminism is about women making decisions, having ambitious goals, and achieving as much as men do. The promotion of women's achievements should continue to happen, but only to show the growth of equality between men and women.

Ms. May hits it out of the park... hopefully

Bill C-38

Even the title sounds horribly boring; perfect for a political document, no? You will probably never see a bill titled "The Canadian Government's Shit-hole Maze Bill to give the Opposition the Run-Around In Order to Get What Prime Minister Harper Wants".

I'm not terribly interested in reading up on specific bills, even if they do GREATLY impact my life and my world, but I like to listen to what comes around through the grapevine, and what I heard about this particular bill was atrocious.
It's a 420 page document (Conservative: Win; very, very, very few people will take the time to read a 420 page document if it's not for fun) and contains a ridiculous variety of bills and amendments (Conservative: Win; people who happen to read the entire Omnibus bill - as it's known as - will pick out the parts they don't like and leave the parts they do, causing confusion within parties, communities, etc). The Conservative government did very well, the New Democrats attempted to pick out specific parts of the Omnibus bill to contest, though many of their objections would probably not pass; then Elizabeth May gave the speech of her life.

Elizabeth May is the leader of the Canadian Green Party and the only member of her party to be elected to Parliament. She recently wrote a speech condemning the Omnibus bill due to it's scrambled nature, BUT May's speech found a crack in the seemingly stone-cold bill: a true omnibus bill must have a theme for all the proposed bills; Bill C-38, May says, has absolutely no theme and that the proposals it contains are all over the map.

Now, Parliament is going through a "slow-vote"; this means that Members of Parliament will vote on more than 100 bills contained in the Omnibus bill. At the end of the day, who knows what will happen. Hopefully the Speaker will keep in mind Elizabeth May's encouraging and empowering letter and save Canada from the horrible, environment crushing C-38.

P.S.
Note how it takes a woman, representing her party with only one seat, to find the fundamental issue with this mish-mash of a bill. Whoo hoo!

Have you seen this???

Suu Kyi "I will try my best for you"

Take a gander at this lovely lady you see in the photo above. No, she's not an ex-beauty pagent queen. Nor is she the wife of a prominent Asian leader. She is Aung San Suu Kyi, world leader in democracy and advocate for Burmese migrants. She won the 1991 Nobel Peace Prize, among others, for human rights and used her winnings to establish a trust fund for the Burmese people.

She was privileged in that she was able to attend British and American universities - lots of girls today don't get a chance to finish highschool, let alone go on to study in a local post-secondary institution (if there is one). But Suu Kyi did not take her education lightly, she used it and her power as a human being to fight for the Burmese people. How many people do you know who would walk towards a squad of guards pointing rifles at them? Begin a hunger strike to ensure the safety of students and advocates of democracy? Not see their husband, dying of prostate cancer, because they would never be allowed back into their home country, never be allowed back to fight for their people?

To me, this woman is a pillar of strength that we can all admire and aspire to be like. To me, this woman shows us that Feminism is not dead; women working to achieve rights for their people (men and women) is still happening, and must continue to happen. So, my dear "Anti-Feminists", take a good look at this woman and think of the years and years where women were not allowed to speak publicly or to go to school or to enter politics. Think about these things and then ask yourself if the world really would be a better place without Feminism.

Zoya's Story

One thing that's on my "Bucket List" is to help (in some fashion) girls in oppressive situations get education; help build a school or help fund educational initiatives.

The story that inspired me to put this on my list is called Zoya's Story. Published in 2002, Zoya shows readers a young-Afghani woman's struggles to grow up and be educated in a tumultuous area. Although it's not written with the prowess of Chaucer, it's more than an easy read. Women who lead privileged lives, such as myself, don't see beyond their own progressive borders. By reading Zoya's story, my attention drew beyond North America, and my interest in promoting equality grew. Zoya has been through more than a teenage boy has experienced playing Call of Duty. This book is a must read! Although, I have to admit, it give a sense of "we're right and you're wrong" to first-world people, but it shouldn't be the norm for women to have to sneak reading and writing materials into homes. There shouldn't be guards with guns outside schools to protect the women and children from being shot at. Women, as human beings, have a right to education. My idealist hope is that one day we will all have an opportunity for equal education. Whether this will happen in my lifetime, at all, is, sadly, unknown.

First Post!

Welcome to Chowin Down!

After multiple comments and postings on YouTube videos, I decided I should start a blog so that I can share my opinions without annoying video posters with too many responses to other comments. Here we go!


In Which I Confront My Own Beliefs Concerning Feminism


I watch my fair share of YouTube videos, but one video caught my eye. It was a woman who claimed to be an "anti-Feminist". This confused me. How can a woman with a YouTube channel, who shares her thoughts, talents, and beliefs and values be against Femenism? I desperately wanted to write back to this woman, and this made me consider my own definition about Feminism. What is Feminism?

My first thought was that I can't narrow down my personal definition and include others'; it would have to be tailored to my beliefs (as all 'isms are). I know I don't believe that women or men are more valuable than the other. I believe that men and women complement each other in terms of physical functions (men generally being predisposed to more muscles, and women being predisposed to deliver babies). However, these attributes (and others) that make our genders - and any new cross or mixed gender - do not achieve higher status than others. It was this strong belief that led me to my current understanding of what Feminism is to me: my Feminism is solely about equality.

I am reading The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan, and my eye was caught by one of the most obvious statements: early feminists of the 1920s were looking up to men as role models when they were beginning their fight for women's rights. These women would look at the outside world that men were involved in and say, "I want to be a part of that" NOT "I want that to be MY world, run by MY rules". Early feminists called attention to the fact that women think just as much as men do about the world. When the War was happening, women were employed in factories, doing what was usually considered "men's work". They were employed with the army as nurses and aides. I've heard about one woman who dressed as a man and drove a delivery truck during the war. Women were not concerned with "stealing" men's jobs, they were concerned with the War effort. I can definitely believe the first taste of contributing to society would be addicting.
These early feminists are my role models. They were fighting for rights to speak in public, the right to education, the right to work. They were not fighting against men, just for the barriers that prevented them from sharing their views as human beings. I strongly believe that our connection as human beings comes before gender. I believe that the goal of Feminism is to make itself obsolete. When Feminism no longer exists, when women no longer feel the need to fight for equality, that is when we will have all recognized our human-ness.

When I look back on the video this woman posted, and the comments that offended me as a woman and a feminist, I have to pause and give silent congratulations to these early freedom fighters. This woman would not be on YouTube, speaking to a large public, sharing her personal views, if not for women like Lucy Stone, Sojourner Truth, and Louisa May Alcott. Although she may not know it, this woman is building on the foundation of these pioneer Feminists. She is advocating for her right to speak as a woman, to women.

My Feminist beliefs do not seek to alienate or target men as bad people. I value men as a counter-part to our society and respect those who contribute to keeping the core values of Feminism alive. In fact, I respect anyone, of any sex, who stands up for Feminist beliefs.

To those who seriously oppose Feminism, I suggest you do your research into its history, founders, struggles, and the key values it supports. Equality is the love boat we can all get on; no matter our "ism".